When my partner read the heading on the about me page of my website, ("if you are breathing the opportunity to heal is yours") he laughed!. Well of course, he said, "that's a no brainer". Perhaps, it would be better stated, "as long as your alive (hence have breath) you have the choice to realize your wholeness." In the Concise Oxford Dictionary under the word whole you will find this entry 1. In good health, well. Under the word health, the last entry you will find this; [OE haelth,=heilida f. WG *hailitha f. Gmc *hailaz Whole: see -th]. I put this at the heading because the practice and study of yoga along with reflective journalling revealed this to be true. At any point in our life we can choose to ignore the internal promptings of our deeper/true selves, conversely we can choose to listen. I am grateful for whatever "it" is that coaxes me to move towards wholeness.
The past 3 years of my life have in many ways been the most challenging and the most joyful, I miscarried twice and I crossed the threshold into Motherhood. My son turned two this past December. Some would say, ahh, "the terrible twos". I do not know who first coined this cliched phrase, but I am sure they didn't fully comprehend what this stage of childhood development was about. One thing that the yoga practice has taught me is "watch your presumptions". Why, because if I am presumming I am not using all of myself to understand what is happening but I am pulling in some prior notion about what is true and letting that obscure my vision of the moment. Here is an example. Recently we travelled by car to the Lost Coast (3 1/2 hrs north of our home.) Prior to leaving I was frought with angst about the long car ride with a toddler. I decided the best time to travel would be early afternoon thinking he would sleep. Well, 30 minutes into the ride he started to bemoan his assignment to the car seat, I immediately took the position, "sorry, we (your mother and father) have a goal to get to where we are going, you have to deal with this".... I never said this outloud, but children are incredibly intuitive. Sensing this, he continued to protest loudly and boldly his seat assignment, the more he carried on the more I was aware of my clamping down, resisting to pull over to comfort him. This scene went on for the biggest part of the drive. At one point something inside me shifted, I turned sideways in my seat (I was in the front passenger seat, he behind me) and reached out to his out stretched hand which at first he slapped away, and began to comfort him, and empathize with his position. I felt he was not being "a terrible two year old", but in fact was "not feeling heard, feeling a loss of control, feeling rejected". Truthfully, I don't know if any of these feelings are true, but I do know this, I turned my body and my attention (my heart) towards him and began to tell him that I loved him and that I know it is difficult to sit for a long time in the seat (please note we had pulled over and gave him a 20 minute reprieve from the car seat he was content and happy the moment we gave the indication we were stopping to let him get out) and I said that over and over until he felt me, ( I surrendered to the situation of trying to make it better for him) he expressed he was sad, and I continued to tell him that I loved him and that it was OK to fall asleep and rest. He stopped crying he reached out and held my hand and fell asleep.
This scenario gave me the opportunity to remember "there is no separation". (a truth of Hindu, Buddhist and Native American thought). When I turned my inner heart towards my beloved child and expressed to him love, something shifted for all three of us! May this coming year ahead be filled with stories of deaf hearts tuning into the pulse of the Universe that prompts us towards our Wholeness. Blessed Be.